1. Deja vu
Deja vu is an experience of having seen or experienced a new situation previously. It feels like if the event has already happened before. The experience is usually accompanied by a strong sense of familiarity and a sense of paradox or bizarre. The…
5051 | me: | hey i just met you |
|---|---|
| me: | and this is crazy |
| me: | but i own all your albums and have your posters on my wall and a blog dedicated to you and i cry over your face daily |
| me: | so call me maybe |
As soon as I posted that last post, my roommate walked in crying. And saw me crying. Instead of telling me what was wrong, she walked over and asked me what was wrong.
Which resulted in us staying up until 3am bawling our eyes out together and holding each other.
Turns out, we’re kind of going through the same thing. While I’m scared to leave my life in Cape, she’s scared to move here permanently. Neither of us wants change, to leave our comfortable lives, but that’s where God is leading us.
It’s crazy how God works. But, I’m SO thankful for it.
It’s all hitting me. Just now. This is my last week at Semo, in Cape, at Lynwood.
In two weeks I’m starting a new school. Where I don’t have any friends, nowhere to live, no one.
Why am I doing this to myself?! I’m absolutely terrified. I don’t want to look at anymore apartments or houses. I don’t want to find a new church. Or make new friends.
I want to stay here. Why can’t SEMO be a good nursing school?
I’m terrified that I’m making the wrong choice.
I’m leaving some of my best friends, a great job, and an amazing church. That’s not just a church, but my family down here.
I think I’m making the wrong decision.
It’s ridiculous.
I’ve been trying to make myself give no fucks about all of this stuff, be it this wedding or the possibility that Spencer is a giant skank who cheated on Haley or the idea of Ryan hanging out with people who obnoxiously post about their drug use.
I don’t WANT to care about all…
THIS. This SO much. I’d rather care about things that really affect me in my life. You know like school, finals, MY life. But no. Instead I worry about Panic! at the Disco and why Sarah gives me a bad, terrible feeling, and why this stupid wedding nearly gives me an anxiety attack every time I hear anything about it. SO sick of it. I don’t know if I’d rather it hurry up and be over with or if it’s not for like another year when it hopefully won’t affect me as much. Agghhhh
11 
HAPPY 28TH BIRTHDAY PATRICK STUMP!
What an amazing year it’s been for you! Your debut LP, Soul Punk, is an autonomous masterpiece that was well-received by fans and critics alike. You’ve been on plenty of tours with plenty of friends, not to mention a stint on late-night TV. You’ve even stepped back into the acting game, unplugging the cork on Moustachette to the internet and appearing on House last week.
We’re aware how it hasn’t quite been perfect for you lately, and you’re the last person that deserves to feel that way. The kindness, honesty and patience you show towards us is rare amongst… anyone, to be honest. You deserve every ounce of respect that you give to everyone you interact with, and not just because it’s your birthday. This love that so many people have for you lasts year-round, and we all want you to know that your art is truly appreciated. Heck, this blog wouldn’t exist without you. From the bottom of this blog’s archives, thank you. Every single one of your fans would thank you, too, because you’ve impacted us so strongly with your music and your personality.
We love you, Patrick. Simple as that. So, just coast. ♥
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